Does the perfect parent really exist?

When I see a Facebook post that celebrates the perfect mornings that seem to happen in some households... (This mornings example... "Just woken up to find my two and a half year old already dressed and wiping her bottom after her morning poo"), it makes me look at my life and question where I've gone wrong?!

Because in my house - mornings, generally, go something like this...

I woke up this morning to my two and a half year old screaming “mummuy MUMMUY” (yes there is supposed to be a U in there… For some reason my son sounds like a Brummy, even though we don’t live anywhere near Birmingham)

When I opened his bedroom door he ran away from me saying “I WANT MY DADDY” (which was slightly awkward as daddy had already left for work). So I felt like a complete bag of shit for A) not being good enough for him this morning and B) having to break the news that daddy was already gone!

My one year old was literally stuck to his bed sheets with snot, which I had to painfully pick through to release him, while avoiding the powerful arm flailing and enduring the hideous wailing he was letting out in protest.

We then went downstairs for breakfast, where my eldest son stated very confidently that he wanted Weetabix. It was an upgrade on his usual demands in the morning, which tend to start with crisps and chocolate, (I don’t give in to these….usually!) so of course I obliged the reasonably healthy request quite rapidly before he changed his mind. But on placing the said Weetabix in front of him, he immediately decided he wanted toast. Standard!

One of them did an almighty shit just as we were leaving the house. God knows which one? I popped them in the car and drove straight to nursery.

So, well done to all the perfect parents out there. (If you really exist.) The rest of us quite like our chaotic, crazy, confusing lives. It gives us a reason to laugh (and drink wine!!)